if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
