You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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