I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
false alarm. still invincible.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
