Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
3pm strippers are depressing
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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