He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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