Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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