At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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