know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
