think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
