ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
