Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
