nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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