I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
