she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize