people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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