Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
