Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I don't think brook has ever known best
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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