He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
