Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
