I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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