No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
