Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
