Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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