i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
