omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
