$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
