I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
