Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
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