No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
