she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
