Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
