So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
