Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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