last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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