i don't like sucking hair
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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