I'm really into asian looking animals
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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