if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
