My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Help. Why am I so naked?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
