You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
