one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
