If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
false alarm, still single
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
