lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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