I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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