He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
