Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize