guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Randomize
