Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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