we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
