I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
