Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
