In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
