is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
