if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
