You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
