Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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