these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
