two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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