from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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