If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
