idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
