My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
