Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
we're so committed to being not committed
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
