Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
