woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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