guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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