Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
