dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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