New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
