i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
