i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
