Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
