I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
