can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize